Thursday, November 6, 2008
I happen to be reading (among several other things) a book that deals with Jungian ideas. The name is The Scapegoat Complex.
The reading is slow, but one of my office colleagues has recently completed further study in psychoanalytic approaches to therapy and I thought it was time for me to return to some of the readings in order to be able to talk to her about our work more productively. She has, through the years, taught me much, and I wish to continue to learn from and with her.
I mention this because it brought me to thinking about why this election had me in tears for several hours after I got home. These were tears of joy and hope.
As an individual not born to this citizenship, I sometimes feel that I should criticize less and sometimes more. I realized some of what I had been missing in the political life here.
A quote from the book: ..."psychologically, scapegoating is a form of denying the shadow - by projecting it onto others." ....Shadow can refer to....." attitudes, beliefs, behaviors and emotions we do not feel conform to the the idea of omni-perfection with which we define our idea of God or the Supreme Other. (as a beginning student of western Buddhism--20 years or so--I find that I cannot really find the correct word for the universality of one-ness, but still feel that the same holds true.)
We can have such difficulty accepting that all our humanity, whether we welcome it or not, is part of a compassionate, accepting universe. Therefore we find the scapegoat which allows us to repress, reject and make unconscious the unwanted (in us) while projecting those qualities elsewhere.
For a very long time now, our politics, in line with the rigid Calvinism upon which this nation was founded, have sanctioned an atmosphere of scapegoating.
The speech given by Pres. Obama on being confirmed the evening before last, was a new kind of speech. It was something we have not heard in far too long -- a voice of hope and clarity, devoid of scapegoating. Now, it is up to us. ...and to quote that which has been happily quoted much in the last few days---yes, we can.
My postings have been less frequent than I would have them in the last six months or so, due to illness, but I am hoping that I am getting better and will have time to post more.
Please let me know that you are reading this, lest I feel foolish, and return to paper and pencil journals. If you read this, please let me know who you are... tell me about you and argue with me if you wish.
Also anyone reading this who has any good recipes for things to eat that conform to a celiac (gluten free), migraine prevention and diabetic diet.... help me out. It will be much appreciated.
May you and all beings be well and live in peace and joy.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Thanks Allegra for your help with this.
If anyone has an interest in what I make now you can contact me by leaving a comment and your email address on this blog and I will get back to you... sopha d.
I pulled into the parking lot and asked someone just what was going on. I thought perhaps it was time for the aliens to come down, although why they would choose the front lawn of an old elementary school in Monroe of all places would be a bigger mystery to me than the idea of aliens.
As someone explained to me, the large chimney on the school is part of the migration route of a certain species of finches. This happens every year for about a week. It has gone on since the school was built. What happens is this. The birds fly in the sky above the school. More and more of the tiny birds gather until the sky seems covered with them fly here and there. Then, as the dusk gathers the evening around it, at some invisible signal they begin to gather themselves and slowly the formation of a tornado of small birds all flying counterclockwise begins to form.
The formation becomes tighter and tighter until those at the base of the tornado begin to enter the chimney. To do this, they must turn and fly down tail first, as they spend the night like shingles atop each other for warmth. Birds contine to come and come and come. It is the most astonishing thing I have ever seen.
I also love that people take the time during this week to watch a show that is quiet, no loud music and bright lights, just amazing nature. sopha d
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
On his birthday he received the usual odd sort of assortment of things that we cobble together when we think of someone we love. I was moved to tears, when he was moved to tears, not by the spiffy new, red cell phone, but by the plate with his four year old handprint that I had cleaned up and mounted with some other items in a shadow box. He was also given two magnets with quotes and his favorite went something like this "It is not as important to go out into the world and do well, as it is to go out into the world to do good". Not only have I doubtless mangled the quotation a bit, but I have forgotten the writer. A book of poems by Rumi was also among his favorites.
Perhaps, no matter what, we have raised him a little bit right, or, perhaps his spirit has survived our parenting and all the other nastiness the world threw his way. A lovely birthday.
Wishing you all a wonderful new year.
You may wish to visit a website produced by Cornelia Powell, called Weddings of Grace. No, of course I don't have the url, that would mean I have suddenly become totally organized. But then, you know how to google don't you? You just put your.......
Oh, lost in old movie memories... my pardon. One of the articles in her newsletter is about my friend Sarah and her "mermaid" gown. (I just love being called a designer.) No more said.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Time and Pigs
Time and Pigs Thinking of time and pigs last night while waiting for sleep to still an overactive mind. We are convinced that one flies and utterly certain that the other will never. How, I wonder did pigs get into that position? There are so many things that are, when you give the matter some thought, considerably more immobile and unlikely to fly. There are buildings, boulders, mountains (although we give them credit for being im-movable), and, sadly, there is my dear friend Sherrie. I haven't seen her for a while as I live here in the Northwest and she was forced by circumstances to move to Boston some time ago. She has MS. She has had it for a long time, but it only recently, in the last year or so became the cruel monster it is now. She cannot fly literally in any physical sense. No running and having that feeling that you are going fast enough to leave your body behind. It has taken that inch by inch but with an unrelenting viciousness that boggles the mind. She has fought to retain the use of her legs with a will the like of which I have never met. The sad truth of life is that sometimes will and love are not enough. If they were, she would be running barefoot through green grass at this very moment.The flies of MS time took her balance, so even when her legs were strong enough, she was in danger of falling at any moment. A walker or a can will only do so much and they are a greater intrusion than help when one is moving in a home filled with stuff. Your fat friend, may have the illusion that she will catch you if you fall backwards down the stairs, but you know all there will be left are her little hands and feet in, of course, fabulous shoes, sticking out. That too!! MS robs you of the ability to wear fabulous shoes, unless you are lying down. No fun at all. Then, about the time you sort of get used to that, it decides to overrule you when you give orders to your limbs. You say to your right foot, "go that way." ----- but, noooo! MS decides to make it go someplace entirely different.To add more insult to injury, you are given medications that make you gain weight simply by breathing and you, who have always kept your body in the trim, are adding ten pounds a month. This is now not easy weight to haul around. It is sadly, still not considered justifiable homicide to strangle any medical staff who tells you that, "why no, that medication, does not put on weight. You must be eating more than you think."(hi honey...hope you are feeling sort of ok....)I have reached the age where there is always the chance that any friend I have both close and far away, is one that I might lose without notice. I have not ever really liked group functions, primarily because I cannot have the sort of conversation I want that bonds me with my friends and so I treasure the rare day having lunch in a restaurant and then looking at glass at Bedrock. Sometimes it feels that it can never be enough. And yet, I have lost often enough that one would think I would be better at it. I remain what I have been all my life -- the sort of person who stands and waves long after the car is out of sight. Thank you Allegra and Barry for the most precious afternoon and evening you gave me on Sunday. Although the time went too fast, I think we were the ones flying. sopha d. [Photo]
Monday, March 17, 2008
One of my favorite books for this purpose is an eighteen hundred's thesaurus written by a man named Mr. Crabb. I purchased this book for a dollar or so many years ago on Chukanut Drive on our way from Seattle to Bellingham. Mr. Crabb opens up a world of word usage the like of which seems all but lost to us now. We are all the poorer for it. But, at the moment, Mr. Crabb is hiding so we will have to do without him.
My first step was to look up the word gravity in my old (1948) english/german dictionary. French and German being the first languages I ever learned, looking at the German and French equivalents of words, sometimes allows me to feel my way into words in those languages. I can often do this with english as well, but why not make things richer if you can? So, what did I find out? That will be part 3. I think I am still the only one who reads this thing, right? --so I may as well take my totally exhausted body to bed. More tomorrow, I think...sopha d.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
A number of years ago, I had an unusual opportunity to go to Beijing, China with one of my bestest friends. For five years we had run a business together and when the business closed, our time together shrank radically. This chance to spend two weeks with her was wonderful and since I had a real love affair with all things Asian through my romantic western vision, I was ready to go. The trip itself was so many things that I could write a book if anyone was ever interested (which they are not). However, on coming home, I became ill with a mystery illness. I was extremely tired most of the time and given all manner of medications. In August of 2002 I wrote this:
I have been struggling with coming to terms with the awful feeling that life flows by me, so quickly and so un-noticed.
I find myself left with nothing more than the repeating experience of waking at 4 am with yet another day gone by. It is the true existential anxiety toward death. I am relieved to find that it is in part a side effect of one of my medications.
The events of the summer forced this chemical unconsciousness upon me--for the sake of my blood pressure and the sanity of those with whom I live. Strange that their living more comfortably should be bought by my living less fully.
It is odd how day can feel so much more full, long, meaningful, joyful, fearless, even though my back aches, the same problems exist, my still the same unknown length or brevity...but having been awake to it, I don't feel that dread. This medication treated my anxiety and oddly enough caused severe dread for me....
As a therapist, this is a window into depression that is well worth thinking about."
Enough for today. Comments are welcome.