I, who used to spend several hours a day in the garden despite soggy weather, armies of slugs and crabgrass that felt like it had developed a personal distaste for me, am watching another fall come. This will be the second summer that I have left it all just about untouched. There are those plants that go on and seem to do just fine without my attention, but others have succumbed to my bad back and neglect.
I have always thought the garden had much to teach me, and I miss the lessons that take place in the quiet. I had worked on my yard for years and at the end of every summer, the result was the same.....all the things I wanted to do, remained undone.
I oddly still think of a year beginning in September when the schools start--you would think I was a teacher or parent or something....; so this year as we have passed All Hallows Eve and are making our dash toward Thanksgiving (culturally I mean), I find myself climbing over the effort I began sometime back. It feels like forever, so I cannot even say how long.
We decided to get a new couch and thereby "redo" the living room, causing all kinds of storage uproar in the other places in the house as well. Everything had to come out so that it could be purged before being put away and I find I am still at it and sooo bored by it. I think this year the garden is teaching me that there is no deadline in these matters so great as to neglect friends, family and oneself. I come to this slowly. It took a bit of illness and pain and discomfort to get me here, but I am slowly easing into things with the grace of a neglected garden.
In that grace I hope to find some of the passion I have lost lately, as well as my blood sugar monitor (helpful, if you have been told to monitor your blood sugar!!)
A long time ago I wrote something about how relationships are like the different plants in the garden and the wise gardener does not try to make any into something they are not. But, still one must attend to the needs of the plant/relationship. As I have had my head in trying to find myself among this chaos, I hope that all those of you that I truly care for remember to consider yourselves among the peonies. They are my favorite, although they had to be carefully tended initially, they now willingly go on and show me their splendid miracle in the spring. So are all of you my peonies and though I may have neglected to treat you as well as I should, I wait patiently until you bid me come to attend to you by your unending patience underground and scented flowering.
I promise to try to post more frequently and to take the time to edit these comments a bit more that they be enjoyable to you and allow me to take pride in my thoughts.
The picture of Kwan Yin (one of many spellings) is one of several that I have been collecting in an effort to bring something of "hers" more graphically into all parts of my life. My favorite is a small statue I have on my desk at work. It keeps me present and aware of my "shen pa" (spelling???) as Pema Chodron would advise.
Wishing you all a most pleasant week. I am off to bed to finish a hat. Yes, of course we have to sleep with pins in the bed... that's life. sopha davenport/aka susanne