Read on please, before you judge me to be a totally self-centered, whiny, loathsome creature.
We don't like to admit it, but at some time or another, most of us have had, or will have some such time. People will tell you things like , "God only gives us the burden we can bear", and you will want to slug them in the face.
In this culture there is a strong bias against the expression of grief or sadness. We tend to call it "moping" or "whining".
Culturally it is simply not considered correct to refuse participation in this particular holiday/celebration, much less to express any negativity regarding any aspect of this and those that come in the following months.
.....end of part one. Duty calls me to another task. I hope to finish this later this evening.
love and peace to all beings. sopha