So much time has gone by since last I posted here, and even more since last I found myself happily deadheading the flowerpots on my deck or disciplining the unruly bushes in the front of the house.
I stopped writing for a while for reasons with which I may choose to bore you later. But for now, I am only just emerging from a time of loss and sorrow, not to mention fear. Cancer that nasty word and demon of a disease is hurting and trying to kill three of my friends. One of them will be dead before the next spring. She is kind enough to talk about this honestly and only when she wants to and I am learning something, I am just not entirely sure exactly what it is just yet.
I decided to make several choices. I would say commitments, but that work implies my having a partner who might benefit in these projects. Choice is a better work and frees me from the idea of meeting or failing to meet expextations.
For a long time, I kept things out of this blog. For one thing, I was fairly sure that I was somehow simply writing to myself. While this is an exercise that can be useful to anyone, I hope to be able to write well enough and spanning enough subjects, in breadth and depth, to be of some use or entertainment to others.
I was planning to divide the writing up into several areas. For a long time, I have always kept my life as a psychotherapist private, in the interests of confidentiality, but in writing for the Polishing Stone, found that my own experiences and knowledge do not have to impinge on the confidentiality of any of my patients. Therefore, I would like to begin to write about that experience and would appreciate comments in return. This is not meant as a forum for giving clinical advice, but mental health (what an odd way to describe being happy) has much in it to chat about.
I also feel that as I struggle to retire from one kind of life and enter and try to build a full time life as an artist, I would like to write and interchange ideas with folks around these issues.
Third, I long ago began to write something called "101 Stories about my Mother". She was a most remarkable woman, who is mirrored in the women I find around me now. Truly, there are many stories.
Last, but not least, there are always my unsolicited ramblings....
I am writing this late on a Sunday night, having written drafts and getting nowhere all week, and finally choosing just to let this go out, with not so much as spell check.
Bless you all and please, come back and let me know you are here by subscribing. susanne/sopha