Saturday, February 20, 2010

change, choices and landlords

In our household we have this rather odd tendency to name things. The comfy black leather chair in the corner from Dania (my favorite modern furniture store!!!!) was named Eleanor in the store, and that she remains.  So, when someone calls out, "where are you?", a possible answer is, "here, in Eleanor".  The name stayed because Eleanor Roosevelt was an admirable woman.  Should the chair have been called "hitler" on the tag, I doubt we would have bought it, nor kept the name.

Furniture and cars are most subject to this tendency, so we have "El Monstro", a large wardrobe, the "slug room", and on and on.  My current car is a Sonata and much as I wanted to drive the "silver streak" -- no such luck.  I drive the "S-notta" instead.  At one point we had two cars that were both red, and so "big red " and "little red" were born.  Little red was a wonderful car of mine, I loved it, but as my office is a fair distance down a very dark road, and I  commute home at night, it's tendency to start only when it wished to do so, rather than when I needed it to, became a  bit of a problem.  We kept it around, because we have always lived the sort of lives where we had two "iffy" cars, and it was nice to have a spare around. After a time, however, it was time to let little red go.  It was hard to say goodbye to all those memories, but it was even more difficult to watch the poor thing deteriorate in the street in front of the house.  (Me?  Anthromorphize things?  naaaaa!)  Time went by and it was time to replace big red with another car for my husband and "Mr. Bailey" came to live in the garage.  We were holding on to big red, due to my beefcake's attachment and due to some hope that someday our son might actually pass his driving test.  So..... time went by. 
Time went by.
Time went by.
As time went by, there were a few things that needed fixing now and again, and my husband found someone down the hill who seemed to love the car as much as he did.  Imagine our surprise when we had found out that big red had spontaneously combusted in the middle of the night while sitting the the man's parking lot. 

Never, ever question just what form someone's grief may take.  The loss of this car was not the loss of a car, but memories gone, wishes of seeing your child drive a car that has so much history for much more.
The above photo is one I took of the from fender.  Straight out of the camera.  Then, never able to leave anything alone, I had to fool around with photoshop with it.  Here is the result.

I have several other pieces of writing that I can post, but not today.  I am semi-retiring from my career as a psychotherapist in order to pursue a more full time career in the arts.  This is a very difficult thing to do, and should anyone have an interest in these changes, I would be happy to write about that.
I also, as I have mentioned, have ADD and would be happy to write about that, should anyone have any questions.

Then there is my history as an immigrant into this country as a young child, just silliness, losing friends to awful diseases, sleep apnea masks and how much I sometimes hate mine, and, least but not last how I will address my work as a artist/artisan/business person. 

Comments would be helpful.  If you are having difficulty leaving comments, then please let me know by emailing me at or

Thanks, blessings, joy and good health to all.  sopha d.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

When will I ever get these things right?

I do apologize,,, the blog, Beading Stars that I referred you to has the following url...
Sometimes I think I must just make these things up in my head.... I am sure I have given out the wrong url for mine more often than not.  s.

Passion? yes/ compassion? where?

This poster comes from the website of a person whom I not only hold dear, but who is a person of great intergrity and compassion and, knows what she is talking about!  Please go to her blog, to read more of what she thinks.  This is well worth your time.

We here in Washington State have had our governor make a decision that is doubtless meant to reach some sort of political end, but the result is to cut out medical for the weakest of our society, poor children. Developers still seem to get their tax breaks, uppermanagement types still get their bonuses, but the children will die for lack of a visit the the pediatrician. There is little to be said.

My family and I have been subject to a major blessing.  It may be shortlived or may be long lived; there is no way of knowing.  Our daughter, * Iggy, has been released from the state mental institution several days ago, and this is the first time in twenty years that I have heard her sound so solid, so much like herself, that I dare to actually crack open the callus surrounding my heart, in order to be there for her.  I will write more about this as it goes and as I check with her regarding how much of her story she would like revealed publicly. 
One of the things she told me was interesting though in light of budget cuts.  This was not her first period of time being committed to this institution.  This time, she said, was different.  Before, at meal time, patients could go back for seconds, even thirds unless they were on a diet.  This time, no seconds.  You got what you got and that was it.  Before, they always got cake after dinner.  Now, no cake.  "You have no idea what a piece of cake means to you at the end of the day in a mental ward", she said. 

When we vote to cut taxes, to ensure that those with their huge houses and suburbans, the big cars don't have to pay more for their licenses, we rarely know the small human stories behind them.  That is what we should hear and know and what our legislators should hear and know.  Nobody wants to.  Would you vote for anyone who made you face these issues?   You should. 
Love, peace and health to all.  sopha d.
PS.  If you have any notes of encouragement for my Iggy, you can send them to me at and I will print them out and forward them to her.  She has no computer, but even the kind words of strangers will help her in the battle with her demons.  Thank you.